Friday 17 March 2017

A glossary of wine terms

Wine and poetry have much in common. For instance, the difficulty of promotional language is a shared thorn. Back covers and back labels both display a dodgy code that the potential purchaser has to decipher.

As a consequence and as a nod towards the Prowein fair in Düsseldorf, where I'll be exhibiting this weekend for the seventeenth year in succession, here's my incomplete and tongue-in-cheek glossary of wine terms on the back of having written dozens of back labels, tasting notes and brochures in my day job. I do hope it helps next time you're browsing the shelves at your local merchant!

Chewy........Rough

Intense........Overwhelming

Fun.............Rubbish

Thin............Mean

Ripe............Jammy

Tasty...........Tannic

Broad..........Flabby

Sappy..........Green

Vibrant............Too alcoholic

Warming.........Far too alcoholic

Smooth...........Good dollop of residual sugar

Soft.................Even better dollop of residual sugar

Citrus..............Barely any fruit

Fresh..............Verging on acidic

Moreish..........Acidic

Brisk...............More acidic

Tangy..............Even more acidic

Lip-smacking...Far too acidic

Juicy................Fruit bomb with no acidity

Easy-drinking...Lightweight and dull

Ethereal...........Terrific after four glasses

Powerful..........One-dimensional

Rich.................Gloopy and soupy

Lingering..........For far too long

4 comments:

  1. "Wine and poetry have much in common" - I've noticed that. Food too. See http://litrefs.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/the-language-of-menus-and-poetry-reviews.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Matthew

    Wine by day and poetry by night. What's not to like? When I was a student I drank so much cheap wine that I ruined my palate. These days I tell my wife not to bother buying expensive wine because I really can't tell the difference. When we were in Kuwait my wife's home-made wine turned our flat into the British Council social club.

    Best wishes from Simon R Gladdish

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had a job translating wine bottle labels once. Endless delirium of rendering ever more poetic variations on "unfolding hints of oak and vanilla open to reveal a solid foundation of golden late-summer Shiraz sunshine and a long finish of jasmine and opium..." Wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Ethereal...........Terrific after four glasses" -- Excellent! That would have been useful; I don't believe I ever got "ethereal" in there...

    ReplyDelete